Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.1 cori 13:4-8
Love never fails.
In these days we have been experiencing what I can only describe to you as technical difficulties.
The last weeks of September following the family retreat in Florence, were composed of meeting some not so pleasant realities.
There were several days when we were grieved and distraught..but mostly what we felt was confusion.
After confronting such issues, we ourselves were faced with making some tough decisions. We prayed, sought God, sat still. . . and sat disturbed. Finally one day, I was listening to a study. It always seems to happen this way, that when I am distraught and searching, God speaks to me through media such as He did this day with this particular study. The entire time I was aware thinking to myself, "yes, I need to hear this. Yes, this is true. Yes. Yes. Yes." It was one verse however that really summed everything up for me and that was 1 Corinthians 14:33 which says, "God is not the author of confusion but of peace."
During this entire period of September, we felt so lost. So confused. There were points when I even felt sick of myself . Do you know what I'm talking about? You yourself know, for example,that you need to get over something, but you cant let it go. and instead of doing what you need to do, let it go, give to God, your human spirit wants to understand. I don't know about you, but for me this is my mountain that I circle around and around throughout my life. When I heard this verse, "God is not the author of confusion but of peace," i found at that moment that I could have the strength to let it go. Not that I was giving up on something, but that i could release myself from this worry and confusion. The speaker in this study was saying that its normal for us sometimes to want to understand, sometimes even to ask why? but once we cross into confusion, it means we have gone to far. We are not being led by the spirit at that point. It becomes a game of reasoning, which again is not from God.
Its funny really to see how perfect and wise God is. There was one even morning when I woke up in the middle of the night singing, "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."
All of this being said, I want to tell you, there are so many things now that I thought that I had understood when we first took off on this adventure, that now I am left instead, with sort of a foggy understanding. However, the things that I am understanding now, things such as peace, patience, kindness.. what it means to be content, and it means to die to self. . . I am confident to to tell you, they outweigh the things that I thought I knew in the beginning.
I don't know that we will ever fully understand the power of God that brought us here to this city and these people. I'm not sure that I ll ever understand the ways that He is using us here, but what He is at the moment causing me to understand is that, if i NEVER understand, its ok. Because my God is bigger, stronger, and greater than my capacity to understand. Eric and I are learning that maybe our goals here, the scope of it all, is not what we thought it would be, but that our purpose remains. Our purpose has been, is, and always will be love.
No matter what our situation is, the simplest answer is to act with love. to be love. to remain in His love.
The last weeks of September following the family retreat in Florence, were composed of meeting some not so pleasant realities.
There were several days when we were grieved and distraught..but mostly what we felt was confusion.
After confronting such issues, we ourselves were faced with making some tough decisions. We prayed, sought God, sat still. . . and sat disturbed. Finally one day, I was listening to a study. It always seems to happen this way, that when I am distraught and searching, God speaks to me through media such as He did this day with this particular study. The entire time I was aware thinking to myself, "yes, I need to hear this. Yes, this is true. Yes. Yes. Yes." It was one verse however that really summed everything up for me and that was 1 Corinthians 14:33 which says, "God is not the author of confusion but of peace."
During this entire period of September, we felt so lost. So confused. There were points when I even felt sick of myself . Do you know what I'm talking about? You yourself know, for example,that you need to get over something, but you cant let it go. and instead of doing what you need to do, let it go, give to God, your human spirit wants to understand. I don't know about you, but for me this is my mountain that I circle around and around throughout my life. When I heard this verse, "God is not the author of confusion but of peace," i found at that moment that I could have the strength to let it go. Not that I was giving up on something, but that i could release myself from this worry and confusion. The speaker in this study was saying that its normal for us sometimes to want to understand, sometimes even to ask why? but once we cross into confusion, it means we have gone to far. We are not being led by the spirit at that point. It becomes a game of reasoning, which again is not from God.
Its funny really to see how perfect and wise God is. There was one even morning when I woke up in the middle of the night singing, "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."
All of this being said, I want to tell you, there are so many things now that I thought that I had understood when we first took off on this adventure, that now I am left instead, with sort of a foggy understanding. However, the things that I am understanding now, things such as peace, patience, kindness.. what it means to be content, and it means to die to self. . . I am confident to to tell you, they outweigh the things that I thought I knew in the beginning.
I don't know that we will ever fully understand the power of God that brought us here to this city and these people. I'm not sure that I ll ever understand the ways that He is using us here, but what He is at the moment causing me to understand is that, if i NEVER understand, its ok. Because my God is bigger, stronger, and greater than my capacity to understand. Eric and I are learning that maybe our goals here, the scope of it all, is not what we thought it would be, but that our purpose remains. Our purpose has been, is, and always will be love.
No matter what our situation is, the simplest answer is to act with love. to be love. to remain in His love.
. . . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails . . .
When you read this post, understand that yes we are experiencing some difficulty, but mainly that we are rejoicing with this new found spirit of peace and joy in the Lord. That we are understanding what it feels like to rely on His power, His wisdom, and His timing.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 cori 4:16-18
Our new outlook is fresh and ready to move forward. We have many new projects, plans, and retreats that are coming up in these remaining months before we will be home to all of you in December. Please continue to keep us and the work God is doing here in your prayers. We love you all very much.
Sending a great big Texas hug your way! Thank you so much for sharing your struggles as well as the good times. You are in a circumstance that most of us will never be in, but the "place" you find yourself is one we have all experienced and will again. I too struggle so much with wanting to understand why and how and how come and what now??? God just help me understand! But you are right, we don't have to understand because He does and that is enough.
ReplyDeleteI continue to pray for you and your ministry there. Like you said, as long as you love God's people, He will bless that.
SuAnne
Thanks for sharing your inspirational thoughts! Praise God for the peace He's provided amidst difficult circumstances. You guys are doing so many amazing things in Taranto and Italia, and though you may never be able to see or understand fully how it all fits together or how God is working, you are certainly planting seeds, shining your light, and faithfully fulfilling His purposes for you. Ti voglio bene!
ReplyDelete